Posts tagged with #chat

  • Chris: How much was it?
  • Justin: $205 for 4
  • Chris: Cool, I’ll owe you some duckets next time we hang.
  • Justin:
  • Justin: That is not a suitable exchange currency.

(They were Louis C.K. tickets.)

Chris is always working. Except when he’s sleeping or eating cookies.

— Daisy’s 10-year-old sister

  • Jill: accurate, except I've rarely seen you sleep
  • Me: Sleeping cuts into my cookie eating time.

Don't recruit me, bro.

Making the least of my business network since 2006.

  • Alienman: I was looking into knitting sweaters for oil spill penguins but it turns out there are too many sweaters and they’re literally just sitting in crates now. Crates and crates of sweaters for penguins. I guess it’s just knitting for ugly hobos for me.
  • Chris: I’m an ugly hobo. Maybe I should’ve been a penguin.
  • Alienman: [9 minutes later…]
  • Chris: I knew that quote would come back to haunt me one day. I just didn’t think it’d be so soon.
  • Alienman: Been trying the carless lifestyle
  • Chris: Carless is the future! Or it will be my future: I realized my driver’s license expired after finding the renewal notice in a stack of mail 3 months late.

Throwback chat from exactly one year ago

  • Sara: I’m sick. Sound like a man
  • Chris: An effeminate man, old man or burly cigar smoking man?
  • Sara: Cigar
  • Chris: If you said one of the others I could’ve said “Close, but no cigar.” This potentially droll moment ruined by You.

Numbers in box

  • Chris: I archive as much as I can as quickly as I can
  • Chris: emails in my inbox stress me out
  • Chris: seeing people with 12,817 unread emails in their inbox stresses me out too
  • Daisy: <3
  • Chris: Stuff like that distracts me to no end, haha
  • Daisy: daisy_inbox
  • Chris: You don’t care about me
  • Alienman: I’ve lost 15 lbs since you left Portland.
  • Alienman: How to lose weight: step one, get Chris Rhee out of town

I assure
I have
no idea
what she’s

  • Chris: They were doing trivia at the bar downstairs.
  • Chris: I knew you were here in spirit, yelling at all participants.
  • Amanda: I am a trivia task master
  • Amanda: I am there to WIN
  • Chris: do your teammates get a little punishment if you lose?
  • Amanda: no, but that’s a good idea
  • Amanda: thank you
  • Amanda: I think if you also put small cubes of butternut squash in it
  • Amanda: it would be like, crazy delicious fall salad for all times
  • Chris: I didn’t know what butternut squash was 3 years ago. Now I need it in all things.
  • [excruciatingly long pause…]
  • Chris: not sexually
  • Amanda: of all the vegetables one could potentially fuck, a roasted butternut squash is probably not a bad choice. no judgement.

Previously: Face!

  • Daisy: What mistake did I cause?
  • Daisy: Are you blaming me for you doing dumb things??
  • Chris: yes
  • Daisy: Alright every glass I break [at work] is your fault now
  • Chris: haha, how many is that?
  • Daisy: Like 5. I don’t break THAT many glasses. But the ones I break are stupid expensive
  • Chris: tonight?
  • Daisy: No. Ever
  • Chris: the blame can’t be applied retroactively
  • Chris: fine, let me open my Fail Journal
  • Chris: and blame all these things on you
  • Chris: ... I don’t actually have a fail journal. The first and absolute fail.
  • William: then i’ll hit the road
  • William: hop trains, drink whiskey
  • Chris: good to do it in that order
  • Daisy: I assume it was in good nature and not passive agressive
  • Chris: I try not to be passive agGressive

  • Amanda: you know what I bought myself for my birthday? A $125 face oil
  • Amanda: I keep telling people because I want reassurance that’s not the most selfish thing ever
  • Chris: You don’t get a face like mine without understanding $125 face oil
  • [enormous pause…]
  • Chris: … I didn’t know there could be uncomfortable silence online. Thanks.