Posts tagged with #chat

  • Amanda: you know what I bought myself for my birthday? A $125 face oil
  • Amanda: I keep telling people because I want reassurance that’s not the most selfish thing ever
  • Chris: You don’t get a face like mine without understanding $125 face oil
  • [enormous pause…]
  • Chris: … I didn’t know there could be uncomfortable silence online. Thanks.
  • Daisy: Haha word.
  • Daisy: ... On a scale from one to ten, how natural did that ‘word’ feel?
  • Chris: You’re lucky it was via text.
  • Chris: <3
  • Daisy: Less than three?!?! Damn.

Previously: “Sad attempts at slang” & “That shit was X-ray”

  • Chris: I know more about types of salmon than marriage
  • Amanda: out of context quote of the day

The work I’ve had to turn down would make a better resume than anything I dreamed of when I started freelancing 9 years ago. We on.

  • Will: make a shell company and farm it out under a false identity. Tyler Durden level shit.
  • Chris: Haha, when brainstorming company names in 2003, Paper Street Soap Company was on the list. But 5,219 people and their moms beat me to it.

@vickysecret: Cheated on my 2-day juice detox with a couple vegan marshmallows. Woops.

  • Chris: I think there’s a vegan pirate strip club here. I’ll take you to all the hot spots.
  • Victoria: Oh, shit. I’ll bring the marshmallows!
  • Chris: Are you vegan?
  • Victoria: Not at all. Those vegans just make a mean marshmallow.
  • Chris: I’ll have to try one. One pound. A day. Forever.
  • Victoria: I wouldn’t even judge you. I promise.

I’m convinced there is a circle of hell saved just for me that consists of exactly what is happening right now forever.

— Daisy goes shoe shopping

  • Daisy: At the dentist
  • Chris: Hope everything turns out well. I’ll bug you for updates after I get some
  • Chris: Some sleep. Get some sleep.
  • [later…]
  • Chris: How was Gothenburg dentist?

“I chose to keep that autocorrection for how ridiculous it was” sums up my entire iMessage experience with Daisy.

  • Jill: seems like you pretty much just use apple products, fanboy
  • Chris: hey, it has been a full 12 hours since I last bought an apple product
  • Chris: fine, I just checked. make that 10.
  • Jill: for realsies?
  • Chris: ... yeah
  • Jill: lmao

Who needs her? My new Retina display laptop won’t make fun of me…

  • [Daisy, an illustrator, is working on her portfolio...]
  • Daisy: What should my descriptive tag line be?
  • Chris: “When I draw, you’ll be pushing daisies.”
  • Chris: It’s too bad you don’t rap, you could totally use that. Maybe switch careers?
  • Chris: Or something about drawer and underpants. Everyone likes underpants.

If you or anyone close to you has an important question they’d like a shitty answer to, be sure to contact me right away…

  • Chris: This woman is posing with a blow up doll on the street for a photo
  • Daisy: Sex blow up doll?
  • Chris: Is there another kind?

Frivolous fun featuring familiar friends, food and… fffdrinks.

Photos stolen from Mary Powers’ instagram:
1. Dorinda watches over the city, keeping it safe
2. Mary's beer and my bourbon

  • Daisy: Damn boy. That’s one skinny arm!
  • Chris: I'm really fat and have stick limbs
  • Chris: Lookin like a snowman
  • Chris: Haha that’s ridiculous
  • Chris: Unless you were talking about something else
  • Chris: Then what I meant to say was nothing

Jess is the friendgirl. “<3 just kidding” is always implied.

  • Jessica: I just thought you might seem more interested :P
  • Chris: Haha, it’s hard to convey in text! I take it the resume was a success?
  • Jessica: See I forgot I told you I was doing that. Your lack of interest makes sense now
  • Chris: I wasn’t lacking interest, haha
  • Jessica: Lol well if you were it’s cool cause I already told you about it
  • Jessica: I’m most likely the most dude-ish girl you know
  • Chris: Well you’re acting like a little girl right now
  • Jessica: Hahahahaha jerk face
  • [After an unfortunate typo…]
  • Chris: Yeah, yeah. I look dumb as a bitch :P
  • Daisy: Thanks for implying all bitches are dumb
  • Chris: I look dumb as a dumb person. Who may or may not be a bitch, we don’t know without further information or context.
  • Daisy: That’s right!
  • Alienman: but I’m antisocial.
  • Chris: It’s cool, you’re still my homegirl… Cause you always home… girl.