Posts tagged with #chat

Draw conclusions

  • [Daisy, an illustrator, is working on her portfolio...]
  • Daisy: What should my descriptive tag line be?
  • Chris: “When I draw, you’ll be pushing daisies.”
  • Chris: It’s too bad you don’t rap, you could totally use that. Maybe switch careers?
  • Chris: Or something about drawer and underpants. Everyone likes underpants.

If you or anyone close to you has an important question they’d like a shitty answer to, be sure to contact me right away…

• #chat#daisy

1:45AM in Portland

  • Chris: This woman is posing with a blow up doll on the street for a photo
  • Daisy: Sex blow up doll?
  • Chris: Is there another kind?

• #chat#daisy#portland

Ferris

Frivolous fun featuring familiar friends, food and… fffdrinks.

Photos stolen from Mary Powers’ instagram:
1. Dorinda watches over the city, keeping it safe
2. Mary's beer and my bourbon

  • Daisy: Damn boy. That’s one skinny arm!
  • Chris: I'm really fat and have stick limbs
  • Chris: Lookin like a snowman
  • Chris: Haha that’s ridiculous
  • Chris: Unless you were talking about something else
  • Chris: Then what I meant to say was nothing

• #chat#daisy#mary#photo

Are you not entertained?

Jess is the friendgirl. “<3 just kidding” is always implied.

  • Jessica: I just thought you might seem more interested :P
  • Chris: Haha, it’s hard to convey in text! I take it the resume was a success?
  • Jessica: See I forgot I told you I was doing that. Your lack of interest makes sense now
  • Chris: I wasn’t lacking interest, haha
  • Jessica: Lol well if you were it’s cool cause I already told you about it
  • Jessica: I’m most likely the most dude-ish girl you know
  • Chris: Well you’re acting like a little girl right now
  • Jessica: Hahahahaha jerk face

• #chat#jessica

  • [After an unfortunate typo…]
  • Chris: Yeah, yeah. I look dumb as a bitch :P
  • Daisy: Thanks for implying all bitches are dumb
  • Chris: I look dumb as a dumb person. Who may or may not be a bitch, we don’t know without further information or context.
  • Daisy: That’s right!

• #chat#daisy

Slow it down

  • Alienman: but I’m antisocial.
  • Chris: It’s cool, you’re still my homegirl… Cause you always home… girl.

• #alienman#chat

Complimentary

  • Daisy: you’re less pretentious than most people I know
  • Chris: haha I guess thats a compliment

• #chat#daisy

A novel idea

If you didn’t know, Victoria is my favorite half-Korean half-white tattooed girl to have insult-matches with.

  • Victoria: You should write a book. About me. I’d read it.
  • Chris: There once was a girl who never dated anyone. Forever. The end.
  • Victoria: That’s the whole book?
  • Chris: Ungrateful broads.
  • Victoria: Is that the title?
  • Chris: <3

• #chat

Also: Béarnaise & Camembert

  • Daisy: I saw a special on bears and their evolution on national geographic. There were SO many puns. Like how they crossed the bearing strait. And there were many more I forgot.
  • Chris: Were they on purpose?
  • Daisy: No. I’m just hearing them.
  • Chris: At least they’re not overbearing.
  • Daisy: ……
  • Chris: Hope that wasn’t unbearable.
  • Daisy: ……
  • Chris: I’ve barely tapped the barrel of bear puns I can type with my bare hands
  • Daisy: This is going to get grizzly isn’t it…
  • Chris: Barron Barry’s a barren bearded baritone, bearing berry-colored Burberry

This is my second Daisy & bear-related blog post. Previously: On my grizzly. I’m sure there will be (many) more to come. In fact, that’s probably going to make up the majority of this blog’s content. I apologize in advance.

• #chat#daisy

Totally.

Also known as: “I love” typos


Guess I was due for a typo of my own. Previously: Dialoguing with Daisy

• #chat#daisy

Love Capslockdown

  • Alienman: AWW I CANT BE MAD AT YOU
  • Alienman: AND CAPSLOCK STUCK
  • Chris: sweet messages in capslock should be a meme
  • Alienman: HEAVEN CALLED THEY WANT THEIR ANGEL BACK
  • Alienman: TENDER IS MY BEATING HEART BE GENTLE
  • Alienman: LACK OF PUNCTUATION ADDS SPICE TO SWEET CAPSLOCK MESSAGES

• #alienman#chat

Dialoguing with Daisy

A photo exhibit of an iMessage conversation

Not pictured: Her brutal rebuttal that totally burned me.

Previous slang attempt: Daisy in Taiwan

• #chat#daisy

The view outside my balcony

Compared to this moment 11 months ago...

  • Amanda: is it hailing/sleeting then or snowing?
  • Chris: i‘m from california. hail, sleet, snow, whatever. ICE son

• #amanda#chat#photo#portland

Tatyana sent me a screenshot of her waiting for me to connect on FaceTime…

(She’s probably the only person who has me down as ‘Christopher‘ in her address book.)

  • Tatyana: Work on the speed.
  • Chris: Ha. I accepted, it just didn’t connect.
  • Chris: Work on your battery. It’s pitiful.
  • Chris: Irresponsible negligence to let it get that low.
  • Chris: Careless insouciance! This tells me a great deal about your overall character and attitude towards life. I’m rethinking many things.
  • Tatyana: It went down from all the texting, fool. Also the photos. How many did I send… Stop hating, you hater.

• #chat#photo#tatyana

I just signed a contract using Comic Sans for my signature. That’s how we do it in the big leagues.

  • Justin: tell them you want to add a revision, then rainbows and lens flare.
  • William: Very unprofessional.
  • Chris:‎^ Shout out to William who has to deliver that contract to his HR department. Sorry.
  • William: Hah, I had to be like, “Thats his signature! WHAT!?’

• #business#chat#design#justin#william#work

< Older Posts