Posts tagged with #chat

Throwback chat from exactly one year ago

  • Sara: I’m sick. Sound like a man
  • Chris: An effeminate man, old man or burly cigar smoking man?
  • Sara: Cigar
  • Chris: If you said one of the others I could’ve said “Close, but no cigar.” This potentially droll moment ruined by You.

Numbers in box

  • Chris: I archive as much as I can as quickly as I can
  • Chris: emails in my inbox stress me out
  • Chris: seeing people with 12,817 unread emails in their inbox stresses me out too
  • Daisy: <3
  • Chris: Stuff like that distracts me to no end, haha
  • Daisy: daisy_inbox
  • Chris: You don’t care about me
  • Alienman: I’ve lost 15 lbs since you left Portland.
  • Alienman: How to lose weight: step one, get Chris Rhee out of town

I assure
you,
I have
no idea
what she’s
talking
about.

  • Chris: They were doing trivia at the bar downstairs.
  • Chris: I knew you were here in spirit, yelling at all participants.
  • Amanda: I am a trivia task master
  • Amanda: I am there to WIN
  • Chris: do your teammates get a little punishment if you lose?
  • Amanda: no, but that’s a good idea
  • Amanda: thank you
  • Amanda: I think if you also put small cubes of butternut squash in it
  • Amanda: it would be like, crazy delicious fall salad for all times
  • Chris: I didn’t know what butternut squash was 3 years ago. Now I need it in all things.
  • [excruciatingly long pause…]
  • Chris: not sexually
  • Amanda: of all the vegetables one could potentially fuck, a roasted butternut squash is probably not a bad choice. no judgement.

Previously: Face!

  • Daisy: What mistake did I cause?
  • Daisy: Are you blaming me for you doing dumb things??
  • Chris: yes
  • Daisy: Alright every glass I break [at work] is your fault now
  • Chris: haha, how many is that?
  • Daisy: Like 5. I don’t break THAT many glasses. But the ones I break are stupid expensive
  • Chris: tonight?
  • Daisy: No. Ever
  • Chris: the blame can’t be applied retroactively
  • Chris: fine, let me open my Fail Journal
  • Chris: and blame all these things on you
  • Chris: ... I don’t actually have a fail journal. The first and absolute fail.
  • William: then i’ll hit the road
  • William: hop trains, drink whiskey
  • Chris: good to do it in that order
  • Daisy: I assume it was in good nature and not passive agressive
  • Chris: I try not to be passive agGressive

  • Amanda: you know what I bought myself for my birthday? A $125 face oil
  • Amanda: I keep telling people because I want reassurance that’s not the most selfish thing ever
  • Chris: You don’t get a face like mine without understanding $125 face oil
  • [enormous pause…]
  • Chris: … I didn’t know there could be uncomfortable silence online. Thanks.
  • Daisy: Haha word.
  • Daisy: ... On a scale from one to ten, how natural did that ‘word’ feel?
  • Chris: You’re lucky it was via text.
  • Chris: <3
  • Daisy: Less than three?!?! Damn.

Previously: “Sad attempts at slang” & “That shit was X-ray”

  • Chris: I know more about types of salmon than marriage
  • Amanda: out of context quote of the day

The work I’ve had to turn down would make a better resume than anything I dreamed of when I started freelancing 9 years ago. We on.

  • Will: make a shell company and farm it out under a false identity. Tyler Durden level shit.
  • Chris: Haha, when brainstorming company names in 2003, Paper Street Soap Company was on the list. But 5,219 people and their moms beat me to it.

@vickysecret: Cheated on my 2-day juice detox with a couple vegan marshmallows. Woops.

  • Chris: I think there’s a vegan pirate strip club here. I’ll take you to all the hot spots.
  • Victoria: Oh, shit. I’ll bring the marshmallows!
  • Chris: Are you vegan?
  • Victoria: Not at all. Those vegans just make a mean marshmallow.
  • Chris: I’ll have to try one. One pound. A day. Forever.
  • Victoria: I wouldn’t even judge you. I promise.

I’m convinced there is a circle of hell saved just for me that consists of exactly what is happening right now forever.

— Daisy goes shoe shopping